Friday, August 08, 2008
havent wrote in a long time. well russell went to arizona.. a long time ago. i didnt really go on the computer much after that. sad all the time.
but im good now :] cuz hes coming back!! xD xD xD life is pretty great. i love being here in cali. hanging out with my friends.
i went to the gym with michelle yesterday lol
damn it felt good. i got abs in a day! but guess waht. i ate mc donalds right after.. then they disappeared!!!!!!!!!!!!! wtf?! like. all those hours of work down the drain :[
lame.
ummmmmm. other who. ive been home most of the time. doing things. like reading, studying. working. im job searching :[ and im getting no where. pathetic!! ugh. i hate having no work expieriance. except for community service -.- lameeee.
ughh i dont really feel like writing so ull have to deal with this >:] lol
bye!!
Posted at 03:04 pm by DarlingLove
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Thursday, July 03, 2008
back in cali.
wow. so much has NOT changed ahahahha. same old fun. same "never nothing to do" days. but this time im not here alone. i brought my baby! russell <3 we're having so much fun. i got a new wardrobe lol. and stuff. its been so fun. i reunited with michelleyyyy she spent the night the first night i came back and stayed at home with my all day. we went swimming and to the mall.
also i met up with alex. we went to the movies. tho we didnt really hang out. she was too busy with her other friends. at least i had russell to keep me company. hes always there <3
we're going to universal studios today. yeaay. hopefully he can handle the rides cuz i really like the mummy (the ride) but its alright if he cant lol. so much more to dooo.
tomaros the forth of july. fireworkscrackers and stuff. funn
and then comes vegas!! me so excited. i hope i meet criss angel at the luxor but probly not. its a beautiful hotel. we're supposed to be getting a suite. maybe.
blah.
asklfjlasjlfklajsf stop readng russell. yeah u. sitting next to me. reading every word -.-
oh yeah okay. looking off??
ur silly. i love you. dont frown. yeahhhyyyyy u smiled. xDD
anyways. bye!
Posted at 02:42 pm by DarlingLove
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Saturday, June 28, 2008
today.
its my last day here in this wretched place. virginia.
this place has scarred me more then anything. and now its time to getaway and restart my life somewhere else. off to california.
leave my past. and be only left with memories.
goodbye virginia.
Posted at 01:08 pm by DarlingLove
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Sunday, June 15, 2008
why did i even try?
once again.
sigh*
its okay i guess.
shit happens.
Posted at 08:16 pm by DarlingLove
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Tuesday, June 10, 2008
wow. so much can happen in so little time!
lets see??
russell graduated, class of 2008! awww. im so proud of him <3
his brothers came down. aaron and josh. josh brought his girl, lacy.
i like aaron and lacy. awesome ppl. thats all.
we got in a car crash! amanda's (russells sister's) car got SHIT ON! russells dumb butt wasnt wearing a seat belt! thank god he was in the seat behind me, and i was in the front seat, even tho the air bags didnt go off, or the seat belt for me lock. i couldve flown through the windsheild if i didnt catch myself. scaryyy
i passed sols. now its the last week of the school year, last week of me being at this stupid school.
guess who talks to me now???
yep. can you believe it? jesse.
its all good u know? no grudges. no more bitter hate.
we talked about it (kinda) and yes, russell knows. i cant lie to him. he doesnt deserve anything like that. plus hes understanding... well.. kinda..
but i gota go! ill talk later.
love, mary.
Posted at 08:15 pm by DarlingLove
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Sunday, June 01, 2008
today. well this weekend. had its ups and downs.
lets see...
friday? spent the whole day with my baby. at his house, no one home cuz the rest of the family went to some aqurium. blah blah.
saturday... i.. (trying to remember) oh yeah! i babysitted nadia and yasmin. my lil cousins.. and it was actually awesome.
today (sunday) i woke up and found out my moms been thro my stuff.. and knows just about everything now. i mean... just about everything. every note me and hazel would right to eachother, she read. and theyre some prettyyyy private notes... involving pretty privateee stuff. gahhh...
she knows about wat i gave up to.. jesse. my innocence. she knows i used to get high all the time. and why. she knows about me and russells well... same thing as me and jesse USED to do. and shit. shall i go on? i think not. im just glad she didnt read my diary!!!!!!!!!! i gave it to russell to hold for safe keeping.
well. one things a big change:
im moving back to california.
for good.
untill im out of highschool.
heres how it went... either i stayed here with my aunt and russell stays and goes to nova. or i went to cali and russell goes to arizona and gets free college somewhat.
my mom didnt give me permission for my aunts so.. im going to cali. after all itll be better for me and russell. he'll get the support he needs in arizona to start building his life. and ill get the support i need to get into a good college and start building my life. he'll still see me once a month.. and ohhhh will it be HARD!!! i cry just thinking about it...
good side: i wont have to deal with this damn school and now certain ppl can finally leave me alone and go fuck themselves or eachother.
ill join track again, seek a scholarship, get a car, supporting parent(s) and my true friends back (i only had a few true friends here, ima really miss them :[ )
bad side: im gunna miss this hell hole lol. and my family... especially sophia, my lil angel. my little cousins.. my family in general. and russell's family. theyre all so wonderful, my family and his.
ill miss the snow.. and lots of rain. and the memories.. that scarred me and my heart forever.
and worst of all.... im guna miss being 5 minutes away from my love... now ill be 8 hours away.. im guna miss having his heart warming touch everyday. and having him hold me whenever i need... i dont even have to tell him.. he knows just how to comfort me.. how to make me laugh. how to make me feel beautiful, and how to get me weak at my knees.. im guna miss him so much.. but at least ill see him once a month??? its better then once a year... god.. its guna be so hard. ima go crazy. but i know that he'll still be here. still by my side.
i love russell.
ALSO!!! IM ENGAGED!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
no joke. lol. he actually. came. with a ring. and got on one knee. and proposed to me.
omg!!!!!
i was like... :O .... .. ... .. . ..yes!..... xDDDDDDD!!!!! then came the hot steamy kisxes. lol. giggidy giggidy. aahhahahaha. it was wonderful. and the ring is so pretty!!! its an eternity ring! 10k white gold. with cubic zorconia crystals.
its actually (temporary) till we actually get the real one and stuff.
but its beautiful. and its just right. <3333
well its late. i got school tomaro unfortunately.. ugh.
ttyl stupid ppl who waste their time to read this lol
jp. or maybe im not. it all depends on who you are....
DUN DUN DUN.
oh and HI KIM!
night
Posted at 10:59 pm by DarlingLove
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Monday, May 26, 2008
lately.. ive been having these dreams. before.. they were pleasent.
now hes silent in my dreams.. so silent. so deadly tho. he always hurts me in my dreams. and somehow hurts the ones i love..
like he bashed my head on the back of a seat.. i could feel the warm blood oozing from my head.. then the car swirved.. and i fell thro the window and i saw russell thro the windsheild staring at me. dead. with his vacant crystal eyes staring at me.
and he was just standind there expressionless and still alive.
my brother says ive been talking in my sleep. like im always having nightmares. crying for help in my sleep. begging someone to stop. and its always him. the silent shadow of my dreams. giving me chills down my spine. as if death runs its ice cold fingers down my back and feeling it breathe on my neck..
anyways. other then that.. about prom??
firsttt; my and my baby went to old town alexandria to get my hair done by my aunt :] she did a really good job! then we went to his house and got changed :] and stuff.. took a bunch of pics, went to leos, took a bunch of pics there while waiting for the darn limo, thennnn we went to eat at sukara!! and amazing restuarant! and thennn we arrived at crystal city hilton hotel :] at 9.30 (two hours late) lol and danced :] funnn
we had lots of funn. im too lazy to go into details and such, but it was my babys senior prom <3 his night. and his wish came true, to go with me to his senior prom. and im glad i went with him <333
well i gota go and stuff. bye <3
Posted at 07:52 pm by DarlingLove
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Thursday, May 22, 2008
prom 2008 <3
it was amazing. i had sooo much fun with russell.
and stuff<3
can i explain later? im kinda lazy to talk about it right now.
ill talk later.
bye :]
DEADMAU5:
hey baby;
TIE ME UP PIN ME DOWN. FLIP ME OVER, UPSIDE DOWN.
MAKE ME MAKE THAT FUCKING SOUND.
Posted at 10:16 pm by DarlingLove
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Monday, May 12, 2008
total betrayal.
my day was going absolutly smooth. and easy. even wen i saw jesse give hazel this big ass present for no reason. something he never did for me. even on my birthday. asdlkjasfasf. i was like. ooohkay. whatever. and the rest of the day was fine.
untill the bus. the fckn. bus. i see her and jesse. makn out.
thats where she fucked up. she fucked UP!!!!!!!!! ohhhh and once again. just like last year. when i saw edwin and brynn make out outside my bus. russell once again was right next to me. and ramon on the other side. but this time it was a lotttttt worse. ALOT WORSE. fuck man! i was not gunna let her go. she was not like brynn. brynn and i were not best friends like me and hazel. jesse is not like edwin. me and jesse were CLOSE. we went out for 9 months. our one year wouldve been in two days. jesse? HES WORSE THEN EDWIN! he treated me far worse then any slap edwin laid on my face. his words slapped me harder. his hate stabs me deeper. and u know whats funny. i still hope the best for him. i still dont hate him. i made a promise. dammit.
ohhh i could not wait to get off that bus and beat her to death. but DAMMIT RAMON AND RUSSELL DIDNT LET ME. i cant be mad at them for that but i was SOOO ANGRY!! i pushed her to the floor and screamed at her "DID IT TASTE GOOD?!" "DID YOU LOVE THE TASTE OF HIS LIPS?!" she didnt do anything. JDAFLKASJGKLJASLKGASGA. fucking slut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aslfkjaklsfas!!!!!!!!!
i got dragged home by russell. and then cradled me in his arms.. till the tears stopped. i hope hes right...
"we'll get thro this one too baby. its just another obsticle" he was there last time. and hes still here.. how patient can one guy be?
i wish i were as patient as him.
Posted at 07:37 pm by DarlingLove
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Sunday, May 11, 2008
ILL GIVE IT A 91290470170471092497102940100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
his lips. are lips of magic. some secret thing he does that makes me. owah.
i call it his special *kisses*. lips so soft. the way they move. hes like a god. i love him sooo much :] ahahhahaa. GIGGIDY GIGGIDY!!!!!!!!!!!! ur lips a magic world. -french- kisses. leaving me begging for more. literally. no one has ever gotten me that way! NO ONE.
anyways. todays mothers day. blah blah blah. i got my mom a card and flower. such and such.
i spent my day with russell mostly cuz my mom didnt really want me around. we went to yonis with my brother and watched final fantasy 7. it was awesomeee. i think cloud is hot lol :]
we came back to my house. no one was home. and he gave me kisses. i love kisses. but i need sleep now. im tired. like woah. so gooodnight.
(bleh. school tomaro -.- and i sooo dont wana go!)
Posted at 08:33 pm by DarlingLove
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